Rollercoaster ride

Today my day was like a rollercoaster ride, and i guess if my days will be like this everyday i will loose my sanity, yesterday when i said not to expect, because the more you expect, the more that it wont happen, so i take everything easy, that's why when this morning i found out that i can take my two wisdom teeth out for free, mind you it cost 3-5 thou each normally, i have to take those two wisdom teeth for me to be able to wear braces, i have wanted my teeth to have braces since my permanent teeth came out, then when i found out that i can get it out for free, i'm so happy, that is one of my biggest dream, really! and i thought theres no hindrance for me to have braces.. and so i thought, just a few minutes ago , i recieve a phone call saying that our petition was denied for the second time, which is the final decision , no more appeal, living us with no choice, i was trying to absorb everything that my husband say, when he didnt hear me reply he got mad at me, saying that the reason why he called up, is to have somebody to talk to, actually he just didnt hear me, but the truth was i did reply, he also said that he feels that i dont want him to come home, which is not true, then he said he doesnt know what to do, he's lost and he really wanted to see our children because he misses them so much, i told him to take his last job, and save money for something for us to start when he come back home, he said that it's easy for me to say that, because i'm not the one who's far away with our kids, he also said why dont i get a visa , work there and he will be staying with our kids, which is imposible and he knew that, because i didnt finish my studies, he was saying that all the time, and it really hurts, to throw in your face that i cant do anything, i mean what does he wanted me to say? when i didnt say a thing, he assume that i dont want him to go home, when i told him to go home, he said it's easy for me to say, what should i do? why everytime his depress i have to absorb it all, but i cant take it out to anyone, can't confide to anyone, honestly when the first time we are denied , when they appealed, i didnt put any hope, because it crash me on the first time, but still it was painful to hear it for the second time, i was grieving too, but he will never knew that, for he only know what he feels, and never ask for what do i feel instead judging me for not having a feeling at all... too bad, life is always not fair

Journey

It''s a long long journey
Till I know where I''m supposed to be
It''s a long long journey
And I don''t know if I can believe
When shadows fall and block my eyes
I am lost and know that I must hide
It''s a long long journey
Till I find my way home to you

Many days I''ve spent
Drifting on through empty shores
Wondering what''s my purpose
Wondering how to make me strong

I know I will falter I know I will cry
I know you''ll be standing by my side
It''s a long long journey
And I need to be close to you
Sometimes it feels no one understands
I don''t even know why
I do the things I do
When pride builds me up till I can''t see my soul
Will you break down these walls and pull me through?

Cause It''s a long long journey
Till I feel that I am worth the price
You paid for me on calvary
Beneath those stormy skies
When Satan mocks and friends turn to foes
It feel like everything is out to make me lose control
It''s a long long journey
Till I find my way home to you.to you

Reachable?

Does it happen to you? when you feel that your
dreams is in your grab, and then suddenly it
disappeared in your very eyes. Very frustrating
isn't it? It happens to me all the time,when
i thought that i really can have it, it will
vanish, you can feel that it is cm. away from
your hand and justlike a snap! it will gone,
So better not to expect anything to prevent
disappointments, if it happens, it happens.
if not it's not meant to be. You'll be surprise
and before you know it, it's already yours!