Rollercoaster ride

Today my day was like a rollercoaster ride, and i guess if my days will be like this everyday i will loose my sanity, yesterday when i said not to expect, because the more you expect, the more that it wont happen, so i take everything easy, that's why when this morning i found out that i can take my two wisdom teeth out for free, mind you it cost 3-5 thou each normally, i have to take those two wisdom teeth for me to be able to wear braces, i have wanted my teeth to have braces since my permanent teeth came out, then when i found out that i can get it out for free, i'm so happy, that is one of my biggest dream, really! and i thought theres no hindrance for me to have braces.. and so i thought, just a few minutes ago , i recieve a phone call saying that our petition was denied for the second time, which is the final decision , no more appeal, living us with no choice, i was trying to absorb everything that my husband say, when he didnt hear me reply he got mad at me, saying that the reason why he called up, is to have somebody to talk to, actually he just didnt hear me, but the truth was i did reply, he also said that he feels that i dont want him to come home, which is not true, then he said he doesnt know what to do, he's lost and he really wanted to see our children because he misses them so much, i told him to take his last job, and save money for something for us to start when he come back home, he said that it's easy for me to say that, because i'm not the one who's far away with our kids, he also said why dont i get a visa , work there and he will be staying with our kids, which is imposible and he knew that, because i didnt finish my studies, he was saying that all the time, and it really hurts, to throw in your face that i cant do anything, i mean what does he wanted me to say? when i didnt say a thing, he assume that i dont want him to go home, when i told him to go home, he said it's easy for me to say, what should i do? why everytime his depress i have to absorb it all, but i cant take it out to anyone, can't confide to anyone, honestly when the first time we are denied , when they appealed, i didnt put any hope, because it crash me on the first time, but still it was painful to hear it for the second time, i was grieving too, but he will never knew that, for he only know what he feels, and never ask for what do i feel instead judging me for not having a feeling at all... too bad, life is always not fair

Journey

It''s a long long journey
Till I know where I''m supposed to be
It''s a long long journey
And I don''t know if I can believe
When shadows fall and block my eyes
I am lost and know that I must hide
It''s a long long journey
Till I find my way home to you

Many days I''ve spent
Drifting on through empty shores
Wondering what''s my purpose
Wondering how to make me strong

I know I will falter I know I will cry
I know you''ll be standing by my side
It''s a long long journey
And I need to be close to you
Sometimes it feels no one understands
I don''t even know why
I do the things I do
When pride builds me up till I can''t see my soul
Will you break down these walls and pull me through?

Cause It''s a long long journey
Till I feel that I am worth the price
You paid for me on calvary
Beneath those stormy skies
When Satan mocks and friends turn to foes
It feel like everything is out to make me lose control
It''s a long long journey
Till I find my way home to you.to you

Reachable?

Does it happen to you? when you feel that your
dreams is in your grab, and then suddenly it
disappeared in your very eyes. Very frustrating
isn't it? It happens to me all the time,when
i thought that i really can have it, it will
vanish, you can feel that it is cm. away from
your hand and justlike a snap! it will gone,
So better not to expect anything to prevent
disappointments, if it happens, it happens.
if not it's not meant to be. You'll be surprise
and before you know it, it's already yours!

When do courtship ends?

When do courtship ends? kapag in love tayo
parang kayganda ng lahat, parang kay gaang
dalhin, parang lahat kaya mong gawin, ang
lalaki pag nanliligaw , lahat gagawin para
mapasagot lng ang babae, pag napasagot na,
wala na !!!!in fairness nman minsan kahit
mag bf na thoughtful at sweet pa rin, pero
pag kasal na, ibang usapan na, marami na
akong may mga asawang nakakausap tungkol sa
kanikanilang married life, talking about
their husband behind their backs (kidding)
may nakausap ako sabi niya yung asawa daw
niya mabait nmn daw , homebody, di pla gimik
at di pla barkada, he love his children so
much and also a good provider!!! but the
thing is the wife is not happy!!! what???
what is her problem? sounds ideal right?
maybe sasabihin ng iba kung ganyan ng asawa
ko wala na kong hahanapin pang iba, yes mabait
yung husband niya, pero she feels so unhappy,
oo nga homebody to sa sobrang pag ka homebody
di man lng siya mayaayng magdate, oo at he loves
his children so much, but to the point na yung
minsang yayain siyang lumabas ay di pa nagiinit
sa labas nagaaya ng umuwi dahil gusto ng makita
yung mga anak, u know ang problema kasi sa mga
husband, na tatake aside na ang mga misis, dati
rati nung magbf pa siya lng ang center of attention,
pero pag nagkaanak na, mano kung tanungin kung kamusta
ang naging araw niya, swerte na nun, sometimes
woman needs to feel needed, and she needs to feel
special too, di yung ipararamdam mo lng na nanay
siya ng mga anak mo, she still needs romance in her
life, think this way, she took care of you, and your
children, but who the hell taking good care of her?

Never had enough

Tao talaga kahit kailan di na nakuntento, laging naghahanap ng wala, nung bata pa ako, nandun palagi sa kin ang panghuhusga sa mga desisiyon ng mga taong nakilala ko, o kahit di ko man kilala, pero as you grow older and experience deeper in life, mas nakakaintindi ka na, for instance pag ang lalaki nambabae, kaagad na iniisip ay napakasalbahe nmn nung guy para gawin yun, but if we look closely , of course theres a reason behind that unless hes a full pledge idiot, what if yung babae nmn ang nagloko, naku katakot takot na batikos at panghuhusga agad yan, kesyo ma___ndi yung babae or whatever, but hello!!! wala tayo sa lugar niya, di tayo kasama sa mga pinagdadaanan niya at anong alam natin sa buhay niya diba? sana na lng bago tayo manghusga ilagay muna natin ang sarili sa katauhan ng hinuhusgahan natin, malay mo mas malala pa pala dun ang gagawin mo kung ikaw ang nasa lugar niya

This kinda hit me!

Saw this on some site , dont remember where, i kinda like it, wanna share



My husband was an engineer. Since I met him,
he was always an unflappable rock in my life.
I knew he always had his feet firmly planted on the ground,
and it seemed that no matter what else went crazy, he would
be the one constant.


Three years of romance, and two years of marriage later,
I got tired. He was the most unromantic man I know.
He never bought me flowers, he never surprised me,
and nothing changed in our marriage.


After some time, I finally found the courage to tell him
That I wanted to leave him.
He just sat there, speechless. My heart froze...
What kind of man was I married to that
didn't even know what to say to make me stay?
After a while, he spoke, "What can I do to
change your mind?".


"I will stay if you can give me a good
answer to this question," I replied coldly.
"If I asked for a flower that grew on a cliff, and you
knew that getting it for me means certain death,
would you get it for me?". His face grew troubled.


"Can I give you an answer tomorrow
morning?" he asked. Hearing that kind of answer,
my heart died. I knew that I could never be
happy with a man who couldn't even give me
an answer straight away.


The next morning, when I woke up, he was
missing.


In the living room, under a warm glass of
milk, was a note.
My eyes grew misty as I read it...


"Dear, I have my answer.
I will never pick the flower for you if it
meant certain death.


But before you leave, I hope you can give
me a chance to
Give you my reasons....


You will always sit in front of the
computer and type about for the
whole day, but every time you will end up in
tears cause your formatting
will always go all over the place... I need my
fingers, to do the formatting for you,
so your tears will become smiles.
You like to travel, but would always get
lost...
I need my eyes, so that I can bring you to
the nicest places on earth.
Every time you leave the house, you would
always forget your keys... I need my legs, so that I
can run home to open the door for you.


You never knew how to take care of
yourself... I am always there
for you when you need me most.
I need my hands to help you get rid of the
pesky white hair
You hate so much when you grow old,
to trim your nails, to feed you.


So you see, that's why I can't pick the
flower for you.


Until I find someone who loves you more
than I do, I will need to
have an able body to take care of you.


If you accept my reasons, then open the
door, where I will be
waiting with your favorite muffin."


With tears streaming from my eyes, I opened
the door, and there he stood, with an extremely
worried look on his face.
He still had nothing to say, but just stood
there waving the
packet he had in his hand in front of me.
And then I knew for a fact that I will
never find another man who
will ever love me as much as he does.



Just because someone doesn't love you the
way you want them to
doesn't mean that they don't love you with
all they have...

What's been missing?

Missing? maybe lack of something, attention? the usual ksp thing, sometimes u urself cud not understand, just the loneliness inside you keeps growing and tearing you apart, and really affects your life and ur relationship, and before you know it, youre lost! and havent find your old feelings toward him

Lifeless life

it's 3:31 in the morning and im not sleeping yet, my day usually goes like this, such a boring life , isnt it? teka do i need to emote right now? well di pa siguro, maybe later, siguro natatanong niyo ano ba nmn tong taong to, la ba itong kaibigan? of course i have, pero malalayo sila, and dont know, if they still remember me, haaaaay! life is such full of unhappiness, sometimes u dont know what is missing in you, you just not feel right, you just feel that your longing for something ,which you cannot define,is it love? love ? am i not in love right now? for god sake im in a relationship , and im longing for love? havent you feel that way? isnt that u dont love the person you are in to, but really theres something missing, what's that? i also dont know

A little bit of me

hey guys, ako yung typical na tao na walang magawang matino sa buhay, walang ginawa kundi harapin ang computer, well siguro dito ko lng nailalabas lahat ng gusto kong sabihin, you know naman this days, you cannot trust anybody, and sometimes pag may napagsabihan ka, it wud only get u in trouble, but what the hell am i doing in this blog,writing out loud my feeling,? well u dont know me, and i dont know you so, theres no harm at all