The truth about love

Have you ever been watched that movie? starring Jennifer love hewitt. The story goes like this, Jennifer and her friend had a some kinda bet, Jennifer said her husband won't ever have an affair outside their marriage, i guess jennifer found something that leads to suspicion, but still she believes that her husband can't do that, so she pretend to be someone , send a card on her husband signed as anonymous, she talked to him over the phone, changing her voice, and they had an affair, so it was confirmed, her husband was having an affair with anonymous, and so the story goes...


I mentioned the above movie because it was recently happening to me.

My husband is flirting on the net with different women, using friendster, yahoo messenger etc. Funny thing is i culd always open his emails and friendster, that made him furious because i found out what he was doing.

his reasons was, he was so lonely there abroad, that was his divertion, sabi ko sa kanya, hindi ka ba pwedeng maglibang ng di nambababae?

sabi niya, malalayo naman daw yun, wala nmn daw masamang mangyayari dahil sobrang layo, ayaw ko daw siyang bigyan kahit konting kaligayahan, bkit daw pinipigil ko ang mga ganun bagay kung saan siya masaya, bakit daw hindi ko siya hayaan gawin kung anong gusto niya.


makitid at sarado daw ang utak ko, at nababaliw na.



siguro nga, minsan pati ako di ko na maintindihan sarili ko, bakit hindi na lang maging madali para sa akin na tangapin na lang lahat ng bagay na ginagawa niya? bkit kailangan pang maging apektado ako, samantalang wala nmn epekto sa kanya masktan man ako.


so i chat, i create an account, pretending to be someone else, he added me on his friendster and chat with me, i know what he likes so , as i expected kumagat siya,

It was two things why am i doing this

1. he said chatting and flirting was the his thing and it makes him happy,
so iwanted to give him happiness, kung naghahanap siya ng ganun, ako na ang magbibigay sa kanya, sa katauhan ng ibang taong inaakala niya,

2. That was the only time, when i am chatting with him with different id, i can hear his thoughtfulness and sweetness, ang lambing niya kay anonymous, samantalang sa akin hindi, he always said he misses anonymous, while he didnt say that to me anymore, he always said i love you to anonymous, while to me i cant feel it, pathetic because sa paraan mang yun, kahit sa katauhan ng iba maramdaman ko man lng yung pagmamahal niya, ganun ako kasabik sa pagmamahal niya, kung alam niya lang.


but still nasasaktan ako, sa daloy ng conversation niya with anonymous, i still felt cheated, tipong how can he said i love u so easily to other people, so i cant see any value of that word anymore, pag sinabi niyang i love u , parang ganun na lang, ganun lang yun,


ngayon lng ka chat ko siya, he was willing na magpadala ng pera para makabili ako ng cellphone, i mean si anonymous, padadala na siya bukas, i can accept that if i want to, pero hindi, kapag akusap niya ako, madami siyang daing, na nahihirapan siya sa work niya, kesyo di ko na daw alam kung kumakain pa siya, kung saan siya kumukuha ng pera, pero he was willing to give money to anonymous...


i always ask myself why i keep on doing this, chatting with him as anonymous pero nasasaktan lang ako, kasi there i always realize what he was doing to me
napapatunayan ko lng sa sarili ko kung ano siya, but i'm afraid pag hininto ko ito, makatagpo siya ng babaeng kukuha nga sa mga offers niya,

i want to scream , i want to die... god knows i been in misery for long



I found out that i have a high blood preassure, i told him and guess what he said.

"Pa insured ka, di ako papayag na mamatay ka ng walang pakinabang ang mga bata."

Gosh how many times did he have to torment me????

Last year i've found out that my husband was going gaga over some 17 year old girl, to the point that he was spending money for some magic spells and witch craft for the girl to like him too, I was so hurt, betrayed, disgusted and sad at the same time. I wonder how could he do that? while he was always telling me he had no money to give me and our four children, then i will find out that he was spending money for that crap! how pathetic!, when i confronted him, he didn't admit, and ask the person who told me that if ever I ask that person about that, don't ever admit, but the person told my husband that she already told me everything and she doesnt want to continue that spells, Do you know what hurt the most? he told me that he only did that because the girl was rich and he wanted to lend money, bullshit! what a lie, and he was only doing that thiking our future, how bullshit that can be, I forgive him , when he said that he would stop.

three months after, I found out that he has a son to another woman, eight months younger to my eldest son, I felt so devastated, I can't accept, I almost gone crazy, but in the end I forgive him, because theres nothing for me to do but to accept.

A year after, I notice that he was so eager to talk to his sister, and when he wasnt able to talk to his sister, he was mad and throw his anger to me, one day i can't help but wonder what is it that they are talking about? why he was so work up when he wasnt able to talk to his sister, I 've found out the details about what happened a year ago,

the 17 yrs old girl accourding to my sister in law, and she said it was based on what her brother told her, shows motive to my husband that she likes him, then my husband so full of crap falls in love with her, he even cooked for her, and one day because of the advise of the woman who was doing the magic spells he hug the girl and someone see them and told the girls mother what he did, they got mad at him, and because my husband was under the agency the girls mother own, my husband was fired. till then my husband wasnt able to get a nice job, and me including my children suffer, sometimes my husband will say that he left the agency because he doesnt want me to think about what happened, in other words he again use me as an excuse, (really adding insult to injury) go back to what my sister in law and my husband talking about, my husband always talks about how mad he is, and i think hurt because that girl has boyfriend, and treated him like he had some kind of disease, it hurts me to know that he was jealous and wanted to lessen it by talking to his sister and he gets mad at me when he can't talk to his sister.

BTW my husband was planning to file a divorce because according to him that was the only thing he can do to have legal papers, at first i didnt agree, but he told me i was being selfish, and self centered, i have no choice but to agree, he even told me that the lawyer said that the possible grounds must because i have a third party and the custody of the children should be given to him, he told me that it was just a phony, but i can't accept that.

I feel so wrench right now, i dont know what to do, and to think, yesterday i found out that my dad has cancer and needed big amount of money for the treatment, im the eldest but I can't do anything, I felt that the world is crashing right in front of me, and all i can do is to wait for my last breath.