Have you ever been watched that movie? starring Jennifer love hewitt. The story goes like this, Jennifer and her friend had a some kinda bet, Jennifer said her husband won't ever have an affair outside their marriage, i guess jennifer found something that leads to suspicion, but still she believes that her husband can't do that, so she pretend to be someone , send a card on her husband signed as anonymous, she talked to him over the phone, changing her voice, and they had an affair, so it was confirmed, her husband was having an affair with anonymous, and so the story goes...
I mentioned the above movie because it was recently happening to me.
My husband is flirting on the net with different women, using friendster, yahoo messenger etc. Funny thing is i culd always open his emails and friendster, that made him furious because i found out what he was doing.
his reasons was, he was so lonely there abroad, that was his divertion, sabi ko sa kanya, hindi ka ba pwedeng maglibang ng di nambababae?
sabi niya, malalayo naman daw yun, wala nmn daw masamang mangyayari dahil sobrang layo, ayaw ko daw siyang bigyan kahit konting kaligayahan, bkit daw pinipigil ko ang mga ganun bagay kung saan siya masaya, bakit daw hindi ko siya hayaan gawin kung anong gusto niya.
makitid at sarado daw ang utak ko, at nababaliw na.
siguro nga, minsan pati ako di ko na maintindihan sarili ko, bakit hindi na lang maging madali para sa akin na tangapin na lang lahat ng bagay na ginagawa niya? bkit kailangan pang maging apektado ako, samantalang wala nmn epekto sa kanya masktan man ako.
so i chat, i create an account, pretending to be someone else, he added me on his friendster and chat with me, i know what he likes so , as i expected kumagat siya,
It was two things why am i doing this
1. he said chatting and flirting was the his thing and it makes him happy,
so iwanted to give him happiness, kung naghahanap siya ng ganun, ako na ang magbibigay sa kanya, sa katauhan ng ibang taong inaakala niya,
2. That was the only time, when i am chatting with him with different id, i can hear his thoughtfulness and sweetness, ang lambing niya kay anonymous, samantalang sa akin hindi, he always said he misses anonymous, while he didnt say that to me anymore, he always said i love you to anonymous, while to me i cant feel it, pathetic because sa paraan mang yun, kahit sa katauhan ng iba maramdaman ko man lng yung pagmamahal niya, ganun ako kasabik sa pagmamahal niya, kung alam niya lang.
but still nasasaktan ako, sa daloy ng conversation niya with anonymous, i still felt cheated, tipong how can he said i love u so easily to other people, so i cant see any value of that word anymore, pag sinabi niyang i love u , parang ganun na lang, ganun lang yun,
ngayon lng ka chat ko siya, he was willing na magpadala ng pera para makabili ako ng cellphone, i mean si anonymous, padadala na siya bukas, i can accept that if i want to, pero hindi, kapag akusap niya ako, madami siyang daing, na nahihirapan siya sa work niya, kesyo di ko na daw alam kung kumakain pa siya, kung saan siya kumukuha ng pera, pero he was willing to give money to anonymous...
i always ask myself why i keep on doing this, chatting with him as anonymous pero nasasaktan lang ako, kasi there i always realize what he was doing to me
napapatunayan ko lng sa sarili ko kung ano siya, but i'm afraid pag hininto ko ito, makatagpo siya ng babaeng kukuha nga sa mga offers niya,
i want to scream , i want to die... god knows i been in misery for long
I found out that i have a high blood preassure, i told him and guess what he said.
"Pa insured ka, di ako papayag na mamatay ka ng walang pakinabang ang mga bata."
Gosh how many times did he have to torment me????
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